5:54 PM, Sat. March 21, 2026, Home
For Womens History Month….
What makes a woman…
A woman?
(This is not intended to be offensive to female and trans communities. Please dont see a potential HATE crime against the LGBTQ or Females with this article piece.)
In my years, I’ve heard and seen it all. To think that the Trans and Queer communities think I am hateful of them. They have no idea. No one outside of them and their true struggles understands in a mirrored image their truth all the more than I do. Me, a cis gendered woman, falsely labeled as a trans woman, which I don’t mind. Trans people are gorgeous, inside and out. The courage, the strength to be themselves in a world that tells them they shouldn’t. They are and can be also considered superheroes in their own rights. Everyday I’ve got people telling me I shouldn’t be myself. No one understands the dilemma more than I do. Somehow it’s become my struggle, and it shouldn’t be, however, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
People remark on the bodies of women all the time, “She don’t have large enough breasts, shes not thick enough, shes not slim enough, shes not short enough, shes not tall enough, not curvy enough.” Ironically, it’s all the same for men.
The unfairness of all these conjunctions… if thats the right word.
It had began to reach to the point after so many years of trying unsuccessfully that it was just a thing that I thought I’d leave to chance. You know, naturally building my own family and all.
Maybe, I thought, it would happen when I least expected it, when even I myself wasn’t planning for it, but at 34 years old, single and being reminded desperately by the world that your youth and attractiveness to the male gaze is marred because of your age. Not because of who you are, so you should give up, you should stop trying to find love. That the reality and truth is, men my age, hell even younger, even older, don’t want a 34 year old woman to bear their child and marry. So, you know it’s reality. I don’t believe this, personally, but you know, majority rules. Wish I saved money though to freeze my eggs when I was younger. You just never anticipate. We think we have time and that we’re young and then reality really strikes.
My first relationship lasted long, 7 years, and for all those years we tried. We’d encounter people who’d not only ask us when we’d start a family, since we were together so long— but you know there were other things. Being so slim with a dainty body, small breasts, labeled as a lady with a “boyish” body.
Which would spark a heated debate eventually because it is true. People say insensitive things, and it circles back to the trans community. How can they not be honored as women, who they are, should they not be included and honored in women’s history month, are they not apart of amazing changes?
It is a harsh reality to consider. I’ve heard people saying horrible quips like, “trans women aren’t women because they can’t bear children.”
I’m a cis-gendered woman, who is reproductively challenged, so, what are they saying about anyone like me, like a Sam Smith song, I know I’m not the only one?
What makes a woman?
I know people take my words and twist them and may do some damage to my life for trying to compassionately start this discussion…
Hypothesis: A woman needs ovarian cancer treatment that results in a hysterectomy, does that make her less of a woman?
Hypothesis: A woman needs breast removal surgery to keep her safe from breast cancer, does that make her less of a woman?
I am still waiting to be treated medically in my own name and identity. Readers, I dont know how to word this, but, no, it’s not our softness or kindness or strength. It’s not in our ability to be walking incubators for men. It’s not in how big or small our breasts are.
We are built so uniquely. I think what makes a woman, is simply put, just you. Daring to challenge societies expectations for us in any age group we are in.
It doesn’t matter, whether we are 5, being told to be nice girls aren’t mean, aren’t supposed to be messy we are still told this at 40. We are to defend, and protect each other and every turning point and curve in life even if it doesnt directly affect us.
Someone’s out there, and someone’s going through it too.
Be mean, be happy, be kind, or not. There is no definition to being a woman. Other than just who we are, being loved truly for who we are in that. That’s the priceless part, like Mastercard.
Thanks for reading.
Written and published by: Ი𐑼 jḶ૨ ³⁴
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